<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/03/magazine/infidelity-will-keep-us-together.html?_r=1" target="article">Read this article</a>
In the article, “Married With Infidelities,” Mark Oppenheimer discusses the monogamy society we live in and how infidelities could strengthen a marriage or partnership. Mark talks about Dan Savage, a sex-advice columnist, who thinks that monogamy relationships might not work for every couple. Savage is a gay man who is married with an adopted son and feels that there is a difference from cheating and non-monogamous relationships. Mark and Dan’s point is when people feel the need to cheat, they should tell their partner and work it out amongst them before the relationship is destroyed. In society, people view monogamy very differently and sometimes people go against the social “norm” to feel happy in their relationships. Dan says that cheating is one thing and giving your partner permission to have a fling is another. People who vow to be monogamous cheat and couples who choose to have an “open relationship” are simply non-monogamous. Dan says that straight and gay men are going to be the same in their relationships; humans like variation and as he says in the article, “The mistake that straight people made,” Savage told me, “was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous. Men had concubines, mistresses and access to prostitutes, until everybody decided marriage had to be egalitarian and fairsey.”
Mark Oppenheimer’s reason for writing and using Dan Savage in this article was to inform society that monogamy is not as easy as it seems. Mark uses Savage’s emails in this article because he was trying to help the gay youth who are being picked on; Savage says live through the teasing and when you’re older, you can be happy with a partner and child. Mark even says that Savage saved a couple of young men’s lives by speaking out. Mark uses Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mistress and love child as a no-no for couples because he says, “But Arnold wasn’t in a nonmonogamous relationship. He was in a monogamous relationship.” Mark explains that couples shouldn’t be shy when it comes to what they want sexually because if they are, they might go out and find someone who won’t and can’t judge them for their odd fetish or weird role playing. Jealously can be a big factor when it comes to letting your partner roam about with someone else, but Mark says it can be overcome and it can strengthen a relationship that could be on the brink of failure. Communication is the key in a non-monogamous because if your partner wants to hear about an “experience” it could spice things up and keep the relationship fresh. Couples who are having problems in their relationships need to be open to the other person’s needs because that is when someone goes astray and it can be easily avoided by opening up and living a little.
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